I let the blade                   Fuck!
caress my left wrist              if only the edge were
hoping that the edge              just a bit sharper
is sharp enough...                I could be
blocking out the                  licking my wounds by now...
thoughts of self-preservation     I look at my
that have kept me alive...        wrist
wondering if I want               hoping to see
to die...                         my life leaking away
I scratch a white line            only to find a
into my skin                      shallow indentation
from my wrist to                  where my blood
my elbow,                         should be...
tracing the path                  the unharmed flesh
my messiah would follow           mocking me and
to end my bitter misery...        the insufficient pressure
No...                             I had applied to
I don't want to die               my inanimate savior...
so much as to bleed...            Shit!
so I position                     my courage is now
the savior                        as dull as the
perpendicular to                  tool that failed
my vein, only applying            to lacerate my limb...
pressure on the right side...     Defeated...
I can taste the metal             I climb into bed
in my mouth                       still lovingly clutching
as I rake the blade               yet angrily cursing
across my skin...                 my metal messiah...